Becoming a Mistress to a married man is not something to enter into lightly. Be sure you are doing this for the “right” reasons because you love this man, he loves you, and he cannot or will not sever his relationship with his wife. Having an affair with a married man is not a game. It is a commitment with a very high price tag. People can, and usually do, get hurt.

1: Question your motives very carefully. If you find a mutual attraction with a married man ask yourself if you really want to pursue this relationship knowing that you will spend holidays alone and that you will always take a back seat to his family.

2: Be discreet. Realize that if you do anything to cause his wife to discover your secret, he will only hate you for it and you will likely lose him.

3: Be prepared to have to work harder than his wife to hold onto him. You are dispensable. She is not. She gets half his assets if they divorce. He has worked hard for what he has attained and hates the thought of losing it. His kids need him, and if he is the kind of man you think he is, he will not want to hurt his children.

4: Make your time together unforgettable. This means the fun, non-committal things such as mind-blowing intimacy, indulgent fantasies, and listening when he needs to talk. These are the things he wants from you. Be his fantasy girl. He has enough reality in his life.

5: Grant him the unconditional love he desires. If you really want to hold onto him, you must accept that commitment is not to be. This does not mean you become a doormat. Long-lasting affairs are built on trust, intimacy and respect, just as any good relationship is. Usually long-term affairs are affairs of the intellect as well as affairs of the heart and body.

6:Keep some personal time and space. Make sure he understands and respects that you have a life outside of him. You are not his servant; you are his respected lover and confidant.